I was four years old as I stood inside the doorway of the kitchen quietly listening to the defying tones of my eldest sister as my parents pleaded with her to let them raise the child so she could continue her music career. She was being groomed by important people who were helping my parents pay for her schooling.

When I was five,Mom and I traveled to New London,CT.so she could take care of my sister after the birth of her only son of ten children. Her husband was in the navy. At that time,he was only allowd to be a cook on the sub because he was black. He was a very tall man with chestnut skin and wavey black hair from Texas and when he cooked breakfast,it was wonderful. It was the first time I had eggs with cheese and grits with butter. Mom sent me there for the next four summers. When they came to visit, they would take me back with them and put me on a bus home where Mom and Dad would be waiting for me at the bus stop infront of the North Church in the town square. That was the first time;after that my sister went with me.
The attic was off limits. It was Dads domain but I was bound and determined to go up there to find the paper (I was told by my siblings) that said I was adopted. Dad kept a lock on the door but sometimes it wasn't locked. The first time I opened the door I quickly closed it when I saw the shot gun hanging on the door.

Portsmouth use to be a navy town and when the subs came in the black sailor were pointed in the direction of our house and Dad would stand at the top of the hill with the shotgun (empty) and tell the four of five young men at the bottom of the hill to go away and leave his daughters alone.

I worked up the courage to get pass the shotgun and of course I never found the papers but I found a new world of discoveries. So I went to Mom and asked her outright. She took me in her arms and told me to get those foolish thought out of my head. Besides, she made it very clear that I was a child after my own fathers heart.